Friday, January 27, 2012

Flash Friday: "A Thousand Slinkies"

Dear Editor,

I am writing about the unfortunate opinion article that you ran on Sunday.

Every word was dishonest, down to the very title. The event was not "a show of waste with pollution as the grand finale." As my secretary takes this dictation, I am having craftsmen attach magnets to poles, the better to fish the slinkies out of the river. Furthermore, the slinkies will be recycled in a second marathon down the mountain.

To answer your question, I received each and every slinky as a Christmas gift, and that is why there is no "paper trail" as you so dramatically put it. I was as shocked as you to learn about the robbery at the warehouse three states over. To accuse me of such things is beyond disrespectful.

To show that I am and always will be a gentleman, I invite you and your pithy writers to attend the upcoming event. You at least I expect to see once again at the betting tables. I believe I have a photograph of you having a grand old time at my first prestigious event.

Until then,
Frederick Astor

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